Today is my last day as Program Director. So I went out and bought a hat. And am now feeling a bit dressy – and flamboyant. Its black – but feelings are in the heart, or head actually.
I will pull out my ear rings. I am permitted to let my true nature come out. Its been three years of ‘eyes on me’ and a sense of being the last to come into the party, and all eyes are on you. The eyes have closed. The lights have gone out. I can indulge.
My first indulgence will be friendships. I will get gushy, will I(?), and speak my heart. I fear not, as I said to Michael Howard, the travelling word carrying tales of power alignments. I still may not let my dislikes show – that would have to await rebirth, and cant come through with just relinquishing of roles.
I agreed to do another three years, and a month into the second term I was sure it was wrong. All wrong … would I have continued the Campus Recycling project (CRP) beyond the ‘proof of concept’? No I wouldn’t. I had to withdraw and close the project so that the 30 workers could consider the next step – that of commercialisng their expertise. The project was thus an incubator. The role at RMIT similarly was a project – and the very project-ness of the role required that I step back and let the ‘sustianbility’ stage of the project start. In the CRP that was the first commercial contracts, the first fights, and for quite a while the lure of the ‘bribe’ (give me a cut and I will give you the contract). In the Rickshaws case that was the setting up the manufacturers and the ‘handholding’ till the orders starting flowing with regularity, and the manufacturing capaability was fine tuned. So it is still work, and still a commitment to the project – building the program.
I have work to do – independent of the administrative side to university work – and this has started with a resounding show of comaraderie. We are all doing joint papers. And are well on the path to seeing cooperative grant application dveelopment.
Stepping down is also a steping into a new phase.